I got one!!!

Well, it wasn't easy but I found bras that didn't have an underwire and didn't come in a box. I had NO IDEA how OVERWHELMING bra shopping is!! I have been going to the same place and buying the same bra for over 10 years. I didn't have to think about it. There was only one style that fit. I can finally wear a regular bra so I went to Kohls yesterday and about had a heart attack! There were THOUSANDS of bras to choose from! Underwire. No wire. In a box. Out of the box. Bali, Maiden Form, Playtex, Candies, I could go on and on. How was I supposed to wade through the sea of bras and find the one that FIT and that I liked????
I had a very nice lady at Kohl's yesterday helping me try them on. I won't tell you how many I had to go through before I found one that FIT, but I found one! (and bought it in two colors). I am SOOOOOO excited! It's been a month and that &!*^(%^$ Sports bra is coming off. No more sleeping in it, no more 24x7 wearing it. WHEW!!!

It's finally happened. I'm almost healed. Not fully, but certainly past the "I need to get better" stage. Bruises are gone. Incisions have all but healed. I am finally looking "normal"....whatever that is. It's a new world for me.

Thanks for reading.

Dum dum dum daaaaaaaaaaa.....

Next week is a big week for me! It will be a month since the surgery and I get to go BRA shopping!!! I realize to the average woman this may not be the most exciting thing to do but for me...WHOOPIE!!! So, to be ready for that I need to know what size to buy. If you looked at me, you'd think I went from an "F" to a "C". I don't look like I'm a "D" cup and that's what I asked for from my surgeon. Makes me a little worried.....today I went to Frederick's of Hollywood (where I've bought my bras for the past 10 years because they sold a decent looking size F) and got measured. (insert happy dance here). I'm a D!!! Unfortunately for me, Frederick's doesn't sell bras without an underwire. Until I'm completely healed, no underwires for me. Who cares?! I get to wear a D!!!!!

Since I was in the mall, I thought I'd hit the bathing suit section as well. I bought two bathing suits last week and sadly had to return them. I tried them on with my sports bra on because I was fearful of taking it off to try them on. Stupid mistake. I got them home, tried them on and realized that they were too low cut and they both showed off my new scars. Crap. So I returned them figuring it would be yet another summer without a bathing suit. JC Penney ad to the rescue! I walked into JC Penney today and found my new suit. I LOVE IT!!!! I can't wait to get to the pool or the beach!!! Here it is!
I am NO MODEL, this CERTAINLY isn't a picture of me, but the suit and the cut are flattering. I'm the average size woman and I found a swimsuit. Yay!!! When I get the nerve....I'll post the pic of me in it.

The Perks!!!

So many things are different now. So many little changes that the average person doesn't think about but I'm finding each day. LITTLE things that mean a lot!! So, what did I find?

Things about me that have changed.....

1. The napkin. I hadn't seen it in 20+ years and apparently it's been in my lap the whole time.
2. Powder. A large breasted woman's best friend. In the summer when the girls are rubbing against your skin, powder helps with the chaffing. I threw away my bottle today.
3. Same size. I bought a medium short to go with a medium top. I thought everyone bought those in different sizes.
   
4. Swim suit. One piece! No more buying three sizes too big just to fit the girls!
5. Slimming! With the girls at their appropriate size, I can look down and see a weightloss. When they were big, I mentally didn't see the weight gone.
6. Running. No more black eyes when I run!
7. Walmart has my bra size. You think this is funny? Try special ordering bras for 20+ years. I personally wouldn't buy a bra at Walmart... but the fact that I COULD, says something.
8. A medium. Yes, a MEDIUM! Did I say medium?
   

Don't get me wrong, I have more weight to lose but my life has changed so much. I am so excited for the future.

And thanks for reading.

Human Race and I'm not running...

Last night the EB softball team had our first game. We played "Da Freaks" and won 5 - 4. It was really exciting to win the first one. The best part of the game was when Lenny took a DIVE into home to score a run. He was running and tripped and tripped and tripped (I'm sure you can picture this!) and fell a couple of feet short of home....then crawled to hit the plate. He made it and SCORE! I can't play this year so I'm playing manager. I haven't done that before and I'm learning a lot but glad to be part of the team.

Today is Sonoma County's Human Race. I have walked the Human Race every year (but one) for the last 17 years. I love the Human Race because it's a charity walk/run and WE get to chose our own charity. My company has been Corporate Champion for more than a decade. I'm very proud of the money we've raised for various charities around Sonoma County. This year was different. I don't feel well enough to walk so I didn't. I went to cheer on my fellow co-workers but felt a little remiss by not walking. Since I couldn't do it, I had my son run for me. This year he's really been gung ho on running and doing a great job at it. He ran the 10k this morning in 59 minutes. I'm really proud of him!!! (that's Ian in the yellow hat)This is as close as I can get having my teenager pose for a picture.... :)

As for my daily stuff, I'm still healing. I'm almost 3 weeks post surgery and starting to look more normal. Stitches are healing and falling out, bruising is becoming less evident, sore appears to be healing and I'm finally used to sleeping on my back. I'm still tired everyday and nap for an hour and a half to three hours. Can't seem to shake the "wiped out" feeling after working. I am looking forward to the future.

Tomorrow, some of the perks!

Thanks for reading.

it's almost TGIF

Fair warning: This may be TMI for some people. I'm just sayin'.

Last night I discovered I had a little 'problem'. I thought I did a good job before my surgery of researching the complications, plusses and minuses, etc. Yesterday I was changing my gauze and discovered I'd had a blister and it popped. It's the size of a nickel and OMG is it painful. I wasn't expecting blisters!! I emailed my doctor today and he told me to treat it just like any other blister. I was a little worried because it's right where the "T" scar connects but as long as it doesn't get worse, it'll be ok.

Today I ran into a few friends who hadn't seen me since my surgery. Some of them didn't notice a change others were surprised how small I looked!! All I know is I'm happy with the change. I'm blogging so that I can educate other women on this surgery if they're contemplating having it done. Got questions? Just ask. Happy to help.

Heigh Ho...heigh ho. It was off to work I go!

Today was my first day back to work. It was tougher than I thought it would be!! I came back to 900+ emails. Not surprised, but it's a lot of work to get through that many emails. I could automatically delete about a fourth of them, the rest need addressing.

After a couple of hours, I was hurting. Sitting UPRIGHT isn't something I've been doing a lot of and my body reacted harshly. Tomorrow I'm bringing my pain meds and taking them BEFORE the pain sets in. Just means no driving for four hours. I think I can handle that. I think I'll also put up a "NO HUGS" sign in my office window. :)

I have so much to do, so much to look forward to, so much to change.

This is a recent picture of me and Brenda Iniguez. The two "Bren's". She got me into HDI and on the San Francisco board. I just love her.

Monday came and Monday went. Tomorrow we WORK!

My two weeks is over. Today was my last day to recuperate. Tomorrow it's back to work. I'm glad for the part time because I'm not sure I'd make it all day!!

I decided I needed a new top to wear to work tomorrow. ALL of my shirts/tops/jackets are now too big and I didn't have enough time to get anything altered. Not to mention trying on clothes woulda hurt!! So today I went to the mall and walked around a bit. How hard could that POSSIBLY be. I was only there for an hour and a half and I was DONE. TOO much walking, but I found a new summer jacket (size MEDIUM) and a new summer shirt (again a MEDIUM!!!). Oh what fun that was to try those on. I'll wear the jacket tomorrow but it wasn't what I was looking for. I guess my body isn't quite ready for a long afternoon of shopping. It better get there soon, I need new clothes again!! :)

Looking forward to my new adventure at work tomorrow. Hopefully I've had some blog readers from work. Otherwise, I got some 'splaining to do tomorrow on my new appearance!!

Thanks for reading!

Sunday....a day to relax.

I don't know why, but I'm more sore today than I've been all week. My chest feels like I've run a marathon. Weird!

Since I won the Derby pot yesterday, I got a very relaxing pedicure today. Came home with pretty red toes. Ahhh....such a lovely way to spend an hour.

Next week I'm back to work. Doctor kindly gave me part-time orders which will probably be good for me. For a day or two....I'm sure I'll be antsy to get back to work. The first few days I have a feeling that I'll be in home for a nap by 2pm. Since I'm still not sleeping well, that will help a lot.

For now, I'm relaxing on the couch and I'm rooting on Margie & Luke on Amazing Race. I love to see an underdog win!!

Thanks for reading.

Saturday already.

This morning I'm finally updating my blog. It's tough to do daily when you're busy! I'm sure when I get back to work this will be more of a once-a-week update again.

Today we're going to the SCAYD Volunteer Awards Gala. Their theme is Kentucky Derby. Appropriate huh? It's a long event from noon til 5 and I'm sure I won't last the whole event. I'm glad JT is taking me because by going it helps with my stamina. I start back to work on Tuesday working 5 hours a day and I need to see if I can last that long!

Looking at myself this morning I'm looking better. I still HATE wearing the sports bra but the incisions are healing well and I'm sure it's due to wearing the bra 24x7. I can't wait to buy a new one. I can't wait to buy some new tops! New jackets! Get things altered! Oh the new life. This is so amazing to me. Seriously.

I really had no idea how much my large breasts were holding me back.

Thanks for reading.

A Medium???

A few years ago my sister and I were in Las Vegas. (Okay, I go there a LOT but I'm talking about one particular trip a few years ago!) We stopped by the store in front of Cowboy Ugly and were inquiring about some of their shirts. When we asked what size they came in the very skinny girl behind the counter said "medium". My sister and I looked at each other, and thought we heard her wrong. I asked if they had an "extra large" and she looked at me straight in the face with the funniest smile and said "uh huh, medium". Now my sister and I were laughing. Did she really say "medium" again? Apparently you have to be a skinny "b" to wear their gear. Well that will NEVER happen for me........

Fast forward to January 2009. Jeff and I were in Vegas for his trade show and one of the suppliers had the cutest T-shirts for sale. They were selling out fast and the ONLY size they had left were............MEDIUM. I knew at that very moment there was NO WAY this shirt would fit but maybe in the near future...........
So I bought one anyway. Whoda thunk? I put it on today and IT FIT!!!!!
Now I'm rockin' my Vegas shirt. Maybe one day soon I'll go back to Coyote Ugly and buy a shirt. A medium...

Some pics....

this was me a few months ago......
and me this morning. Can you tell?????

Day Eight

I got up this morning and checked my email and had one from my Doctor. He said that the 'hole' isn't really an issue. Apparently I have 70 sutures underneath the 'glue' they used on the outside so with all that, I don't really have a hole. I have a little bit of skin that will eventually heal. This statement was backed up by a friend who also had the surgery.

Alrighty then. So, I can have a hole in my skin and not worry! Well, I'm going to the store today to buy butterfly bandages just the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Exhale.

I'm having lunch with a friend today then coming home to start my one and only project. I figured I should take on something so I won't be bored!! I'm doing calligraphy for another friends wedding. Can't wait. Love to do that.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday - it's been a week!

So, it was a week ago that I had this life changing surgery. Wow. I still can't believe it. I had an epiphany yesterday. Thinking about it today makes me giggle.

Mom and I went to lunch yesterday. While we were eating, I did what I always do...lean all the way over my plate so I don't drop something on my 'shelf'. My Mom looked at me and asked why I was doing that. I thought about what she said, sat up straight and looked down. I could see my lap AND my napkin!! This is a new concept for me!! She knew that and laughed. I realized it and was just....wow.

Tonight is a little different. I found a 'hole'. I was doing a 'self exam' as I do every night before I get my pj's on. I found under my left breast an area where the skin does not appear to be attached to each other. No stitches left in this area. I'm sure this sounds very strange.........and it's a little scary! I sent my Doc a message via their website and expect to hear from them in the am.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for reading.

Monday - day Six

Ugh. Today was a setback.

I went to lunch with my Mom (thanks Mom!!) and couldn't take my pain meds because I can't drive while on them. It was weird being behind the wheel of the car and driving and feeling every bump in the road. When we were done with lunch, I was DONE. Oh man I was hurting. I came home took one pain pill and was out the rest of the afternoon. I don't like feeling like that. I had been doing well not taking pain pills every 4 hours because I hadn't needed them. I have a week to get ready to go back to work and I have no idea how I'm going to do that.

Sleeping is another thing. A friend told me about a "pillow nest" that helped her sleep like a baby. I've tried to recreate it (I found a pic of it online) and I guess I'm not setting it up right because it's just not working. Tonight I'm going to try the Lay-Z-Boy and see how I do. I don't DO well without 8 hours of straight sleep. Makes me cranky. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to start with small walks and see where I go...

Thanks for reading.

Sunday - Day Five

I went outside and took a walk today. I felt like I needed to get outside and get some fresh air. I didn't walk too far (just around the block) but felt like it did me some good. I'm just worried because one of my breasts is now leaking. Not a lot, but enough to get some gauze under there to help with the leaking. I had no leakage issues until my walk.

I feel trapped in this sports bra. I have to have it on 24/7 and it's difficult. Sleeping is the hardest part. Sleeping on my back is difficult enough but doing it strapped into this sports bra makes it really difficult.

I appear more bruised today than I did yesterday. More green and yellow all over. They're not pretty to look at right now. That being said, I can visualize what I'll look like in a few months. I'm still very swollen and uplifted, but its obvious I'm smaller. When I was in Hawaii at Christmas time I bought a couple of tank tops that I knew would fit me eventually. I could put them on when I bought them but they were so SHORT because of my chest, I could never wear them. Well, today is a beautiful day and I put one of them on. It fit. It brought a huge smile to my face because it fit!!!!!

Just another day on the couch.

Thanks for reading.

Saturday - Day Four

Today things are starting to change. My bruises are a lovely shade of green and yellow. Some of my stitches are coming off (this is a good thing) but that means slight bloody marks on my clothes.

I think the hardest part is that my family aren't sure when to help and when not to. Because I'm stubborn, I don't ask for help. Most of the time I'm laying in bed trying to "heal" so that my stitches won't pop open. End result: I'm gaining weight. Not a lot, but I was hoping not to gain ANYTHING. Actually was expecting to lose MORE than the 2lbs I lost during surgery. Ugh. I have a lot of work to do when I get off my butt. Right now the healing is more important to me than the weight gain. This is a lifestyle for me, not a diet. A little more exercise when I'm healthier and I'll be good to go.

Thanks for reading

Friday - Day Three

I got to meet the girls!!!!! Ahhhhh....such a relief today.

Went to the doc to get my drains out. What a WEIRD experience that was! The drain was connected to a tube that was at least 8 inches long. Went the whole length of my breast. Pulling it out was a very strange sensation. It was actually the ONLY sensation I had. The rest of me is very numb. Except for ONE VERY IMPORTANT PART. :) There is one place that is possible where I COULD have lost sensation and that was my biggest fear. That fear has been squashed. I have feeling there and that means my whole surgery was worth it.

My favorite new drink (when I go out - which isn't often) is a Purple Hooter. That would be a good explanation of me right now! Very bruised and purple. The stitches are black and ugly but I must say.....I look a lot better than I thought I would. I'm also much SMALLER than I thought I would be!! I fit into my new sports bras very well. You could almost say a "perfect" fit. And they're a "D" so I must not be as small as I think I am.

This whole experience is very weird for me....and I am sure in the next few weeks as I heal, it will be as rewarding as I'd hoped it would be.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday....Day Two

It's rough. Sleep that is. I'm not getting much of it because I don't sleep well on my back. It's also not helping that I'm draining at night and waking up a mess. Lucky I bought two of everything (sports bra and button up jammies).

I am experiencing one effect that the doctor warned me about. Apparently I haven't eaten enough fruits & veggies because I had to break out the milk of magnesia. Gross. Lucky for me it kicked in around 3am. Woo hoo. Needless to say it's been affecting my sleep for the past two nights.

BUT!!! There's GOOD NEWS!! Jeff called the doc today and I get to go in tomorrow am to remove the drains!!! This means I get to shower and oh is that going to feel good. :) And the best part? I get to see my new girls!!!

Thanks for reading.

Next Doc appointment

My next doctor appointment was scheduled for NEXT Wednesday. You can imagine my excitement to not be able to shower for a whole week. GROSS!!!! Well the doc called today to check in on me and my drains and apparently I'm doing GREAT. He said I can come in on Friday morning and get them removed! YEAH!!!!!

Post surgery - Day One

Yesterday was a surprise. I was expecting a whole different experience than what I got. Here's what I remember:

I got to the Outpatient hospital around 9am. By 10am I was marked up, in my gown and ready for surgery. I left the surgeon a little gift: I wrote a note on my stomach that said "Please make me look pretty". When he went to mark me up he laughed and said no one had ever done that before. (Always good to keep the surgeon laughing). The very nice nurses gave me the FIRST part of the IV...then NOTHING. I remember NOTHING!! Next thing I knew I heard the nurse say it's 1:00pm and surgery was over. Wow. I was expecting to at least remember the wheeling down the hall to the surgical room.

It was a rough day yesterday. The anesthesia wiped me out. I think I was awake for about an hour yesterday afternoon then back to bed.

Today is a WHOLE NEW DAY!!! I feel pretty good. I am NOT in a lot of pain, not having to take a lot of the pain pills. I'm shocked! I expected to be in a great deal of pain. They took 2lbs off of me for heaven's sake! The grossest (is that a word??) part is the drains. I have to empty them a couple of times a day. I get those out next week and can't wait for that. Until then, no showers. Yes, that means my friends won't come by to see me! Stinky!!! :)

I'm wrapped up with gauze and surgical sponges all over the place so I have NO IDEA what I look like under all of this. It's killing me. I'd like to see what was done. How I look. Do I look better? I do know, I'm DEFINITELY smaller!!!! I feel like I'm in high school. I can't remember the last time I looked down and saw my feet. LOL.

Looking forward to the rest of my life......thanks for reading.