A Medium???

A few years ago my sister and I were in Las Vegas. (Okay, I go there a LOT but I'm talking about one particular trip a few years ago!) We stopped by the store in front of Cowboy Ugly and were inquiring about some of their shirts. When we asked what size they came in the very skinny girl behind the counter said "medium". My sister and I looked at each other, and thought we heard her wrong. I asked if they had an "extra large" and she looked at me straight in the face with the funniest smile and said "uh huh, medium". Now my sister and I were laughing. Did she really say "medium" again? Apparently you have to be a skinny "b" to wear their gear. Well that will NEVER happen for me........

Fast forward to January 2009. Jeff and I were in Vegas for his trade show and one of the suppliers had the cutest T-shirts for sale. They were selling out fast and the ONLY size they had left were............MEDIUM. I knew at that very moment there was NO WAY this shirt would fit but maybe in the near future...........
So I bought one anyway. Whoda thunk? I put it on today and IT FIT!!!!!
Now I'm rockin' my Vegas shirt. Maybe one day soon I'll go back to Coyote Ugly and buy a shirt. A medium...

Some pics....

this was me a few months ago......
and me this morning. Can you tell?????

Day Eight

I got up this morning and checked my email and had one from my Doctor. He said that the 'hole' isn't really an issue. Apparently I have 70 sutures underneath the 'glue' they used on the outside so with all that, I don't really have a hole. I have a little bit of skin that will eventually heal. This statement was backed up by a friend who also had the surgery.

Alrighty then. So, I can have a hole in my skin and not worry! Well, I'm going to the store today to buy butterfly bandages just the same. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Exhale.

I'm having lunch with a friend today then coming home to start my one and only project. I figured I should take on something so I won't be bored!! I'm doing calligraphy for another friends wedding. Can't wait. Love to do that.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday - it's been a week!

So, it was a week ago that I had this life changing surgery. Wow. I still can't believe it. I had an epiphany yesterday. Thinking about it today makes me giggle.

Mom and I went to lunch yesterday. While we were eating, I did what I always do...lean all the way over my plate so I don't drop something on my 'shelf'. My Mom looked at me and asked why I was doing that. I thought about what she said, sat up straight and looked down. I could see my lap AND my napkin!! This is a new concept for me!! She knew that and laughed. I realized it and was just....wow.

Tonight is a little different. I found a 'hole'. I was doing a 'self exam' as I do every night before I get my pj's on. I found under my left breast an area where the skin does not appear to be attached to each other. No stitches left in this area. I'm sure this sounds very strange.........and it's a little scary! I sent my Doc a message via their website and expect to hear from them in the am.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for reading.

Monday - day Six

Ugh. Today was a setback.

I went to lunch with my Mom (thanks Mom!!) and couldn't take my pain meds because I can't drive while on them. It was weird being behind the wheel of the car and driving and feeling every bump in the road. When we were done with lunch, I was DONE. Oh man I was hurting. I came home took one pain pill and was out the rest of the afternoon. I don't like feeling like that. I had been doing well not taking pain pills every 4 hours because I hadn't needed them. I have a week to get ready to go back to work and I have no idea how I'm going to do that.

Sleeping is another thing. A friend told me about a "pillow nest" that helped her sleep like a baby. I've tried to recreate it (I found a pic of it online) and I guess I'm not setting it up right because it's just not working. Tonight I'm going to try the Lay-Z-Boy and see how I do. I don't DO well without 8 hours of straight sleep. Makes me cranky. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to start with small walks and see where I go...

Thanks for reading.

Sunday - Day Five

I went outside and took a walk today. I felt like I needed to get outside and get some fresh air. I didn't walk too far (just around the block) but felt like it did me some good. I'm just worried because one of my breasts is now leaking. Not a lot, but enough to get some gauze under there to help with the leaking. I had no leakage issues until my walk.

I feel trapped in this sports bra. I have to have it on 24/7 and it's difficult. Sleeping is the hardest part. Sleeping on my back is difficult enough but doing it strapped into this sports bra makes it really difficult.

I appear more bruised today than I did yesterday. More green and yellow all over. They're not pretty to look at right now. That being said, I can visualize what I'll look like in a few months. I'm still very swollen and uplifted, but its obvious I'm smaller. When I was in Hawaii at Christmas time I bought a couple of tank tops that I knew would fit me eventually. I could put them on when I bought them but they were so SHORT because of my chest, I could never wear them. Well, today is a beautiful day and I put one of them on. It fit. It brought a huge smile to my face because it fit!!!!!

Just another day on the couch.

Thanks for reading.

Saturday - Day Four

Today things are starting to change. My bruises are a lovely shade of green and yellow. Some of my stitches are coming off (this is a good thing) but that means slight bloody marks on my clothes.

I think the hardest part is that my family aren't sure when to help and when not to. Because I'm stubborn, I don't ask for help. Most of the time I'm laying in bed trying to "heal" so that my stitches won't pop open. End result: I'm gaining weight. Not a lot, but I was hoping not to gain ANYTHING. Actually was expecting to lose MORE than the 2lbs I lost during surgery. Ugh. I have a lot of work to do when I get off my butt. Right now the healing is more important to me than the weight gain. This is a lifestyle for me, not a diet. A little more exercise when I'm healthier and I'll be good to go.

Thanks for reading

Friday - Day Three

I got to meet the girls!!!!! Ahhhhh....such a relief today.

Went to the doc to get my drains out. What a WEIRD experience that was! The drain was connected to a tube that was at least 8 inches long. Went the whole length of my breast. Pulling it out was a very strange sensation. It was actually the ONLY sensation I had. The rest of me is very numb. Except for ONE VERY IMPORTANT PART. :) There is one place that is possible where I COULD have lost sensation and that was my biggest fear. That fear has been squashed. I have feeling there and that means my whole surgery was worth it.

My favorite new drink (when I go out - which isn't often) is a Purple Hooter. That would be a good explanation of me right now! Very bruised and purple. The stitches are black and ugly but I must say.....I look a lot better than I thought I would. I'm also much SMALLER than I thought I would be!! I fit into my new sports bras very well. You could almost say a "perfect" fit. And they're a "D" so I must not be as small as I think I am.

This whole experience is very weird for me....and I am sure in the next few weeks as I heal, it will be as rewarding as I'd hoped it would be.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday....Day Two

It's rough. Sleep that is. I'm not getting much of it because I don't sleep well on my back. It's also not helping that I'm draining at night and waking up a mess. Lucky I bought two of everything (sports bra and button up jammies).

I am experiencing one effect that the doctor warned me about. Apparently I haven't eaten enough fruits & veggies because I had to break out the milk of magnesia. Gross. Lucky for me it kicked in around 3am. Woo hoo. Needless to say it's been affecting my sleep for the past two nights.

BUT!!! There's GOOD NEWS!! Jeff called the doc today and I get to go in tomorrow am to remove the drains!!! This means I get to shower and oh is that going to feel good. :) And the best part? I get to see my new girls!!!

Thanks for reading.

Next Doc appointment

My next doctor appointment was scheduled for NEXT Wednesday. You can imagine my excitement to not be able to shower for a whole week. GROSS!!!! Well the doc called today to check in on me and my drains and apparently I'm doing GREAT. He said I can come in on Friday morning and get them removed! YEAH!!!!!

Post surgery - Day One

Yesterday was a surprise. I was expecting a whole different experience than what I got. Here's what I remember:

I got to the Outpatient hospital around 9am. By 10am I was marked up, in my gown and ready for surgery. I left the surgeon a little gift: I wrote a note on my stomach that said "Please make me look pretty". When he went to mark me up he laughed and said no one had ever done that before. (Always good to keep the surgeon laughing). The very nice nurses gave me the FIRST part of the IV...then NOTHING. I remember NOTHING!! Next thing I knew I heard the nurse say it's 1:00pm and surgery was over. Wow. I was expecting to at least remember the wheeling down the hall to the surgical room.

It was a rough day yesterday. The anesthesia wiped me out. I think I was awake for about an hour yesterday afternoon then back to bed.

Today is a WHOLE NEW DAY!!! I feel pretty good. I am NOT in a lot of pain, not having to take a lot of the pain pills. I'm shocked! I expected to be in a great deal of pain. They took 2lbs off of me for heaven's sake! The grossest (is that a word??) part is the drains. I have to empty them a couple of times a day. I get those out next week and can't wait for that. Until then, no showers. Yes, that means my friends won't come by to see me! Stinky!!! :)

I'm wrapped up with gauze and surgical sponges all over the place so I have NO IDEA what I look like under all of this. It's killing me. I'd like to see what was done. How I look. Do I look better? I do know, I'm DEFINITELY smaller!!!! I feel like I'm in high school. I can't remember the last time I looked down and saw my feet. LOL.

Looking forward to the rest of my life......thanks for reading.

Today is the day...

I'm as ready as I can be. Still nervous. I can't shake this feeling. I think its because my other surgeries were more "life threatening". Meaning if I didn't have them, I would have serious complications in my life. This one I will be extremely uncomfortable, but I'd survive. Sounds stupid I'm sure.

I've got to regroup. Today is the first day of the rest of my healthy life. I get to wear clothes that are in proportion to each other. I get to run (possibly!!). All of this because of one little surgery. I know in my head it's the best thing to happen to me. I just have to get past this morning!! :)

Going to go get ready. It's outpatient surgery and I'm thankful for being able to recover at home. No hospital food. I should be home late this afternoon and will blog tomorrow am.

Thanks for reading

Tomorrow am.

Tuesday. 8:45am. I'm ready but I'm not. I'm excited for the "after surgery" but not excited for tomorrow. Today has been a HOT one and miserably so.

They say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade....so I went out to my lemon tree, picked a few and made lemonade. Now let's see what I get handed next!

Went to the store today to get new jammies. Apparently lifting my arms in the air will be out of the question so I needed button front ones. Don't tell me to "stick 'em up" because I'm gonna look really silly doing that.

I also bought a sports bra. (Regular bras are out of the question for a few months) It was the strangest thing to buy one and HOPE it will fit. I don't know what size I will come out of surgery as. I know what I ASKED to be...but you never know what you'll end up with. Can you imagine? God sets you up with one set of girls...and you can actually CHOOSE what you want to be. Such a strange decision to make.

I'm blogging my adventure for my friends who wonder what it's like and are afraid to ask. I hope I'm not offending anyone by putting such details out there. I'm not embarrassed by this surgery, just want to help educate.

Thanks for reading.

Monday am.....one day to go.

I'm up! It's 5:30am and it's my last day of work before surgery. I have a lot to do today because I'll be out of work for two weeks. So much to wrap up. I feel a little guilty leaving my staff for that long....but I know they understand.

So many things to do today. Shower with special soap. Put specific things by the night stand "just in case". Specific clothes to wear "after surgery". Oh, and the pictures. Still didn't take the final picture yet. Will do that today. Can't eat or drink after midnight. Must take regular meds with a SIP of water. Yadda yadda yadda....

It's going to be a HOT one today. Almost 90 degrees. If I wasn't sweating it out about the surgery, today I'll just be sweating it out!!

Thanks for reading.

It's Sunday...

and the weather outside is beautiful. It's expected to be 85 degrees today. I just can't wait.

I woke up this morning with a terrible knot in my stomach. I'm not sure why. I think it's nerves.

I'm really looking forward to the "after surgery". I'm sitting reading the paper this morning and found a recent Lands End catalog. It has swimsuits in it. Swimsuits are something I've always struggled with. When I got to my current weight I started looking for a new swimsuit. I was THRILLED to fit in one in the single digits. Well, the bottom half fit anyway. I've never been able to put on a one piece and have it fit everywhere. Looking through the catalog this morning, I am starting to realize this is a possibility I will get to face very soon. I should be on cloud 9, but I'm sitting here nervous. Hmmmmm....

All of these clothes in the Sunday ads. They're beautiful. They look good on people of proportion. Reality check: This will be me soon. Wow. Until recently, I didn't think it was strange to buy skirts/short in a size MEDIUM and tops/jackets in a Large to X-Large. Thankfully I have a supportive husband who is behind me despite me downsizing the "girls". :)

Today I'm housecleaning and reflecting on the items in my closet. I'm hoping that my local Goodwill will be happy to get the tops and jackets that will be coming their way very soon. Well, except the ones I can save with my favorite tailor. Don't know where I'd be without Mai's alterations in Rohnert Park. They've taken such good care of me during this journey. Beautiful tailoring at an affordable price. A shameless plug.

Today is picture day. Hubby wants to take "before" pictures so we can see the difference. YES clothes will be on. Will post them here when I'm ready...

Thanks for reading.

Saturday morning - 3 days away

I'm up this morning and heading to the LAB. Doc ordered some general blood tests to make sure I'm ready for surgery. Wish I had known that while I was at the doc's last week, I would have done it then!! Next stop is to go buy a sports bra. Not just ANY sports bra, but one that closes in the front......AND......is SMALLER. This will be very weird!! So, need to do a little shopping today and maybe a little pampering. A pedicure sounds lovely right about now.

Got my instructions from the Pre-Op nurse: Loose clothes, shirt that buttons in the front, put meds near my nightstand with crackers & water (to make sure I have something in my stomach before I take the meds, no matter the time), special soap to shower with before the surgery, and my favorite: Make sure the DVR & book shelf are full. I'm gonna be bored!! Actually, I took on a project while I'm home recuperating. One of the girls I work with is getting married and I'm doing the calligraphy for her invitations. I LOVE doing tedious work like that, very theraputic for me. Weird I know...I won't be starting that project for several days after the operation.

I got to see first hand yesterday what I may look like 10 years from now. I was very honored to be trusted with that.....and thrilled how good I may look. THANK YOU so much to my friend for sharing her experience with me.

Thanks for reading...

Surgery & the weightloss

I started this blog to write the adventure I started on January 1st 2008. I wanted to blog while I worked on losing weight and hoped that it would help me in my quest for healthiness. As of this writing, I've lost 57lbs. I've lost it everywhere but ONE place. My breasts. I'm huge. Not Dolly Parton huge but darn close. After many visits to the Doctor, many funny exercises to try to lose the weight there, I've decided to have a breast reduction. My insurance provider (God bless them) deems it medically necessary and will be covering the cost for this life changing operation. There are so many things I am looking forward to after this. Things the average woman doesn't think about. Like....

• buying a ONE piece swim suit
• buying a dress
• RUNNING - think about it!
  
• neck pain relief
• back pain relief
• buying a bra in a NORMAL dept store
• and so on and so on.....

I have many things to do this weekend in preparation for the surgery and my recovery. Wish me luck and watch here for updates......

Thanks for reading.

...and finishing it up with Magic Kingdom

I'm glad I left Magic Kingdom for last. It's quite a bit like Disneyland, but just not the same. It's almost when Walt was designing it he SNEEZED and everything got spread out. It made the trip easier because we didn't do as many things at Magic Kingdom.

Had to go check out Its a small world. After they changed the Disneyland version, I thought they might have done the same at WDW (they didn't). Disneyland added a bunch of new characters (from Toy Story, Cinderella, etc). The weird part is getting used to the big clock being INSIDE instead of the large part of Disneyland that it is.

On the way out of town the next day, we stopped in Celebration, FL. Very cutesy Disney designed town. This is one of their electricity poles:

Next day: Disney Studios

Last time I was there it was called MGM Studios. I love all of the rides, especially Rockin' Rollercoaster. But better than that....and better than the one at DCA is Tower of Terror!! I also LOVE Toy Story Mania!! OMG....probably the best attraction Disney has put together.
We ate at the Sci-Fi Dine In. Food was good but the movies were silly!!! The restaurant is setup like an old Drive In and we get to sit in old convertibles. Such a cool idea.

On to Epcot!!

**Epcot**

I love Epcot. We had fun with my step son here. We called him from "England" and told him we were there....told him we walked there from China. He thought we were totally serious!! Even got mad at us!!! Teenagers.....

Another favorite (and I think the ONLY ride at Epcot beside the PUKE ride Mission Space) for me is Test Track. This year I got to go through the Living Seas and really enjoyed it. I'd missed that the last two times I'd been. I had fun watching a couple of dolphins play chase with us while they were waiting for guests who had paid to swim with them. They were doing all kinds of tricks...even got me to be eaten by a shark!!
I just had to close with this picture....really like the lighting at night.

The LAST thing we did was to ride Spaceship Earth. The big globe you see here. At the end of the ride we got quite a surprise! Once we realized how FUNNY it was, I grabbed my camera and videoed it. Hope you can see it. I giggle every time I watch it!! (video was taking too long...will update later)

Next stop...checked into Pop Century.

This is the hotel we stayed at. It's a value resort (but it was costly because of the time of year!!). We had so much fun walking through the resort looking at all of the architecture. The rooms were nice and clean and Disney like. Had Disney soaps, etc in the room and Disney comforters. Normal Disney room stuff. The busses were quick and that made getting to the resort great! I upgraded our room (extra $30) and we stayed in the 1970's hotel. This got us closer to the busses as well as the main building (the Grand Hall) where the food court was (food was decent) and the shops and check-in.

The Duncan YoYo's held the stairs for the hotel. Pretty cool way to hide stairs!
That's me at the bottom of the Mickey phone (that I own!!). Everything is so cute here!

I'm so far behind!

Life's been a little busy lately...just got back from Orlando/Tampa, my HDI conference in Vegas, and being out sick for a week. What to update first??

ORLANDO: JT had a work conference in Tampa and we flew a few days early to Orlando. I just HAD to go to WDW!!! It was my third trip to WDW and his first. I had it all planned out and we did all four parks in TWO days. Stayed at Pop Century (would definitely stay there again!!!) and started out at Animal Kingdom for 7 hours. Stopping here and adding pictures. I have to make this into a few blogs....the trip was just too cool to make it into one blog!!
The first attraction we went on was the Kilimanjaro Safari. Yes, this is a WHITE RHINO butt. We were this close to him. I didn't zoom in. I could have reached out and touched him....but was a little freaked out how close they were. we also saw this baby elephant.....so cute with his mommy!!
After the safari, we headed to Expedition Everest. JT wasn't too excited when he found out it went backwards but afterwards, he LOVED it! One of the best rollercoasters ever! We also went to the Lion King show. Really good.